Sreesanth’s secret to Six-Pack-Abs

Former Indian Cricketer Shanthakumaran Sreesanth, or ‘Chutiya’ as he was fondly known in the dressing room during his stint with the Indian Cricket Team is back in the Phews this week. Sreesanth has always been a useless boy. His bowling economy was always over 8 an over in test matches and humaar Mahiya Dhoni, was never a fan of the Kerala lad. Sreesanth is memorable for a couple of things in Indian Cricket’s History: 1. His catch to get Misbah out at the ICC T20 World Cup in 2007 and 2. Towels + No Balls + Cash LOL

Sreesanth trying to flex his non-existent muscles
Sreesanth trying to flex his non-existent muscles

After the BCCI Ban on Shanthakumaran Sreesanth, he’s ventured into showbiz. He was a participant in a famous dance reality show, where he lost to Irfan Pathan. Now, he has been cast in a Tollywood movie as the lead protagonist. To prepare for this role, Sreesanth has worked extremely hard and built quite some muscle at the cost of his male potency. He now boasts of being the proud owner of 6-pack-abs. Only if he worked this hard on his fitness during his cricketing years, he could have scaled great heights.

Anyway, Sreesanth is now roaming around the streets of Kerala shirtless to flaunt his six-pack-abs. He says he is known as the Salman Khan of his village in Kothamangalam. He is now the hottest boy in Kothamangalam out of the 29 otherboys in the area. He is using this new found fame to try and enter the Bigg Boss 10 house. We’ll update you on that front soon.

Cameraman Kamil Yusuf k saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.

Azhar Ali’s Secret to smashing 302* vs West Indies

Pakistan is known to produce some of the world’s best seam bowlers, excellent singers, artists and fucktards like Asif Ali Zardari. However, a new jewel that promises to make the people of Pakistan proud, is Azhar Ali. Azhar Ali, elevated to captain Pakistan quite early in his career, is a solid all-round batsman in Tests as well as ODI cricket. Misbah Ul-Haq the horny genious being the current skipper of Pakistan has always trusted Azhar in holding the reigns of the Pakistan Cricket Team in the future and Azhar has only made this acknowledgement and assertion.

Pakistan are currently in a strong position against a terribly weak West Indies’ team. Missing most of their prominent and talented pool of cricketers, West Indies cricket is struggling because of regional politics. To make matters worse, Azhar Ali demolished this mosquito-like bowling attack with excellent footwork, style and finesse. With his batting temperament reminiscent of past greats like Inzamam Ul-Haq a.k.a Potato.

AZHAR ALI
AZHAR ALI

Azhar Ali smashed an astonishing 302* not out in the first innings for Pakistan. He celebrated with a salute, an ode to the Pakistan Army, which is essentially the only political stronghold of the entire country. When asked about his secret to scoring with such will and freedom, Azhar spilled the beans as follows:

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“Bismillah-e-rehman ae Rahim. First of all I wanted to thanks the Allah for give me strength. Mashallah the pitch is good and the bwoys played well cricket. I batting with chapli kebab in pocket and hungry eating one in drink breaks. Inshallah moment continue and we win with Gods grace bismillah-e-rehman e rahim. Alllah talaah ka shukar hai I want to thanks Allah and bwoyz played well.”

We couldn’t pickup much from the interview Azhar Ali gave us but it translated to him munching on Mutton Chops during drinks break to keep the momentum going in reading the holy Quran.

Pakistan 579/3d
West Indies 69/1 (22.0 ov)
West Indies trail by 510 runs with 9 wickets remaining in the 1st innings

Cameraman Kamil Yusuf k saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.