Andrew Symonds pours Beer over Michael Clarke

Andrew Symonds the perennial monkey of International Cricket is back at it again. After his infamous sexy shorts incident, Symonds finds himself in another soup. Now retired, former Australian Captain Michael Clarke has recently released his autobiography, spilling lots of secrets and one glass of beer.

Clarke's autobiography
Clarke’s autobiography

Clarke’s book has quite a few startling revelations about his relationships with the players and officials he interacted with, during his illustrious career. One such incident includes Andrew Symonds and his many stints with Alcohol. Symonds was always known as an alcoholic and his attitude in the Australian dressing room was motivated by the high induced by his consumption of alcoholic beverages. He was also handed a one match ban when he turned up drunk to a match against Bangladesh in 2005.

Clarke points out this one incident when Symonds and Clarke were good buddies. Symmo got too wasted and drunk out of his minds. In presence of Brian Lata, he emptied an entire glass of beer on Clarke’s head, as a joke. Clarke never spoke to Symonds after that incident. Here’s an excerpt from the book.

Text from Clarke's bookSymonds has been quoted saying the following in Gujarati “Daru Peevanu and Fishing karvanu, Majja ni Life”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cameraman Kamil Yusuf K Saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.

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Birthday Boy Kumble Poops all day

October 17, 2016 marks Anil Kumble’s 46th birthday. Anil Kumble, the current head coach of India has had an illustrious career as a spin bowler. Kumble is a humble man, and loved by all cricketers he played with, except my grandfather, who never played with him, but hated him. While the world lovingly calls Kumble, Jumbo, my grandpa referred to Anil as The Hunchback of Notre dame.

The players and support staff of the Indian Cricket Team celebrated Jumbo’s birthday by ordering a Jumbo birthday cake for him. Our main man, Rowdy Cricket journalist Maganlal Chikkiwala has exclusive information, that the cake for Jumbo weighed 18pounds. Nobody knew where the cake came from but they found it at the hotel room that Kumble was staying in. Kumble, like a hungry jackal pounced on the cake and gobbled it up in a matter of seconds. His friends and family couldn’t even smear enough cake on Kumble, thus rendering Kumble’s birthday party a huge flop. Smearing of the cake is now a ritual and if not performed, the birthday party is considered a flop. To make sure your birthday party is a hit, smear the cake on your face.

Kumble has had memorable birthday parties before, like in this picture.

Anil Kumble

Where former Indian players didn’t allow him to eat the cake.

Now that the cake has been devoured by Anil, he has had quite a rough birthday. Since, the cake touched his stomach, Kumble has been feeling uneasy and has spend most of his time in the bathroom sending poop selfies to his close friends. Apparently, the cake was infused with Jamaal Gota, the famous Indian Laxative. Doctors have been informed but weren’t able to look after Kumble because of him being locked in the toilet all day. But our best guess is, Kumble has had a hit of the Dysentery or as they’re known in my household – Loose Motions.

Cameraman Kamil Yusuf K Saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.

Sreesanth’s secret to Six-Pack-Abs

Former Indian Cricketer Shanthakumaran Sreesanth, or ‘Chutiya’ as he was fondly known in the dressing room during his stint with the Indian Cricket Team is back in the Phews this week. Sreesanth has always been a useless boy. His bowling economy was always over 8 an over in test matches and humaar Mahiya Dhoni, was never a fan of the Kerala lad. Sreesanth is memorable for a couple of things in Indian Cricket’s History: 1. His catch to get Misbah out at the ICC T20 World Cup in 2007 and 2. Towels + No Balls + Cash LOL

Sreesanth trying to flex his non-existent muscles
Sreesanth trying to flex his non-existent muscles

After the BCCI Ban on Shanthakumaran Sreesanth, he’s ventured into showbiz. He was a participant in a famous dance reality show, where he lost to Irfan Pathan. Now, he has been cast in a Tollywood movie as the lead protagonist. To prepare for this role, Sreesanth has worked extremely hard and built quite some muscle at the cost of his male potency. He now boasts of being the proud owner of 6-pack-abs. Only if he worked this hard on his fitness during his cricketing years, he could have scaled great heights.

Anyway, Sreesanth is now roaming around the streets of Kerala shirtless to flaunt his six-pack-abs. He says he is known as the Salman Khan of his village in Kothamangalam. He is now the hottest boy in Kothamangalam out of the 29 otherboys in the area. He is using this new found fame to try and enter the Bigg Boss 10 house. We’ll update you on that front soon.

Cameraman Kamil Yusuf k saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.

Misbah gets horny

Misbah ul Haq the Pakistan test captain recently led his team to the Number 1 ranking in Test Cricket.
However, the long hours spent in the field were taking a toll on his few seconds in bed. This meant, the hardwork had to cum off somewhere and it came at the wrong time.
As Misbah posed with his beloved test mace and wife, he couldn’t control his libido and tried doing the unthinkable, while Kamil Yusuf the infamous legendary journalist was taking pictures.

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Misbah’s wife was embarrassed. Miss Bah..aah ahhh. ahh.