Sehwag eats Leftover cake on Birthday

RowdyCricket would like to wish Virender Sehwag a very happy birthday. By now, #HappyBirthdayViru is already trending on twitter. The former Indian opening batsman was a destructive force in the batting line-up and bowlers still have nightmares with memories of Viru smashing them all around the ground. Sehwag known for his quick wits and chilled out nature is now smashing it on Twitter.
Sehwag has been showered by Birthday wishes by former and current teammates, as well as fans on twitter today, but the most important one comes from none other than the legend, Tendlya.

As you can see, Sachin called Sehwag “Lala” which is a derogatory term fans use for Shahid Afridi. We don’t care, Sachin is God, and The Lord can say whatever the fuck he wants. There might also be hints of Sehwag having diabetes, since Tendlya called him “sweetest man”.

Usually, its Viru dishing out the funny insulting birthday wishes to other players and former cricketers. But today is his day. So far, this tweet is the most damaging one. We’ll have to wait and watch what Shoaibh Akhtar has to say to Viru, since Viru had made his birthday special with a funny hashtag. 

Now, some behind the scenes wala news is hitting up our boardroom. It is being said that Sehwag does not want to celebrate his Birthday. He doesn’t even want a cake. In fact, he has been licking and eating the cake that was left over from Kumble’s birthday a couple of days ago. Remember, when Kumble had a huge cake for his birthday and spent the day in the toilet. It seems Sehwag had saved some crumbs from Kumble’s birthday and is feasting on the same. We hope Viru doesn’t face the same fate as Kumble did.

Cameraman Kamil Yusuf k saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.

Advertisements

Shoaibh Akhtar ruptures Space-Time continuum

161.3 Kmph is the fastest ball ever delivered in an international cricket match. The man who achieved this feat is none other than the former Pakistani Cricketer, Shoaibh Akhtar. Attached is a video of the ball being delivered.

This was over quite a few years ago, however, Shoaibh Akhtar can still bowl really fast. At this age, after retirement too,

Akhtar Bowling
Akhtar Bowling

Akhtar has been practicing fast bowling in his hometown in Rawalpindi. Shoaibh practices cricket with Kindergarten and School girls in Rawalpindi who are terrified of his pace.
If reports are to be believed, Akhtar has recently delivered a ball, faster than the speed of light. Akhtar bowled the ball so fast, that it breached the space-time continuum and time-traveled as soon as it left his hand. The ball was delivered so fast, that as soon as it left his hand it disappeared. Within a fraction of a millisecond, the ball which was supposed to reach the other end of the pitch, did not reach there. With this delivery, Akhtar broke the speed of light and effected time-travel, which caused the ball to travel back in time and material space to hit Akhtar on the back of his own head.

Shoaibh being hit by his own ball which he delivered, breaking the time-space continuum
Shoaibh being hit by his own ball which he delivered, breaking the time-space continuum

Shoaibh bowled a delivery so fast, that it traveled back in time and hit him on his own head. As a result, Akhtar was taken to a nearby hakim for checkup, but was released soon after because the injury was very minor.

Akhtar stunned after being struck
Akhtar stunned after being struck

Both, the ball and Akhtar are now stationed at Kahuta Khan Research Laboratories where Pakistan’s famous Nuclear Physicist and Metallurgy expert, Dr. Abdul Qadir Khan is observing and questioning Akhtat’s abilities.

There are reports of Pakistan using Shoaibh Akhtar as a weapon and might place him on the LOC border along India. He might be given hand grenades in case of war to throw as fast as he can. But wouldn’t that be ass-backwards since the grenade would also rupture the time-space continuum and travel back to Pakistan causing injuries and blasts? We’ll leave the decision upto Dr. AQ Khan.

Cameraman Kamil Yusuf K Saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.