Dhoni blames Shahrukh Khan for Loss

On October 20, 2016, India lost to New Zealand by 6 runs.
On October 19, 1995, Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge released.
On October 19, 2016, Shahrukh Khan celebrated DDLJ’s 21st anniversary.
On October 20, 2016, DDLJ played on all channels of Indian Televeision.

Dhoni Angry at SRK
Dhoni Angry at SRK

MS Dhoni and Kedar Jadhav were almost on the route to taking India to victory, but why did he have to come to that? India got New Zealand all out for meager totla of 242 and had to chase down 243 to win. This wasn’t a mammoth task for a team that prides in its batting prowess. However, the timing of the game was all wrong, according to Dhoni. India kept losing wickets during the run-chase.

DDLJ
DDLJ

Dhoni points out, that the Indian batsmen returned back to the pavilion one by one in quick succession because of Shahrukh Khan. Apparently, the TV in the dressing room was playing Dilwale Dulhaniye Le Jaayenge. The entire Indian team is a fan of Shahrukh Khan and DDLJ. Which is the reason, why they all rushed back to the dressing room. No batsman wanted to miss Amrish Puri’s brutal eyes, Kajol over-acting and screeching babuji babuji and Srk stuttering like Qutubuddin, the local goat of Multan who was castrated by Inzamam.

The Indian Captain, MS Dhoni expressed his displeasure at Shahrukh Khan and asked SRK to stay away from the remaining ODI matches. He also has requested certain TV channels to air Shahrukh’s movies at different times than when India goes out on the circular field.

SRGay
SRGay

Shahrukh Khan remained unavailable for comment.

Cameraman Kamil Yusuf K Saath, Indus News, Karachi.

Advertisements

Sreesanth’s secret to Six-Pack-Abs

Former Indian Cricketer Shanthakumaran Sreesanth, or ‘Chutiya’ as he was fondly known in the dressing room during his stint with the Indian Cricket Team is back in the Phews this week. Sreesanth has always been a useless boy. His bowling economy was always over 8 an over in test matches and humaar Mahiya Dhoni, was never a fan of the Kerala lad. Sreesanth is memorable for a couple of things in Indian Cricket’s History: 1. His catch to get Misbah out at the ICC T20 World Cup in 2007 and 2. Towels + No Balls + Cash LOL

Sreesanth trying to flex his non-existent muscles
Sreesanth trying to flex his non-existent muscles

After the BCCI Ban on Shanthakumaran Sreesanth, he’s ventured into showbiz. He was a participant in a famous dance reality show, where he lost to Irfan Pathan. Now, he has been cast in a Tollywood movie as the lead protagonist. To prepare for this role, Sreesanth has worked extremely hard and built quite some muscle at the cost of his male potency. He now boasts of being the proud owner of 6-pack-abs. Only if he worked this hard on his fitness during his cricketing years, he could have scaled great heights.

Anyway, Sreesanth is now roaming around the streets of Kerala shirtless to flaunt his six-pack-abs. He says he is known as the Salman Khan of his village in Kothamangalam. He is now the hottest boy in Kothamangalam out of the 29 otherboys in the area. He is using this new found fame to try and enter the Bigg Boss 10 house. We’ll update you on that front soon.

Cameraman Kamil Yusuf k saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.