Inzamam Ul-Haq castrates local Goat

Retired Pakistani Cricketer, Inzamam Ul-Haq or as he is known in India, ‘Potato’ a.k.a Aaloo, is in the news lately. Inzamam, who is currently the head selector for the Pakistani National Cricket Team is a lover of food. He is a Mutton Biryani aficionado. Inzamam can call out if a certain Mutton Biryani is cooked to perfection or not. He can tell if a biryani is missing a peculiar spice, be it saffron, cloves, cinnamon or elaichi.

Potato Ul-Haq

However, this story has nothing to do with these pesky spices. Inzamam has been handed a ban from eating biryani for the next 24 hours by local authorities in his neighboring mohalla. Sources have claimed that Inzamam was roaming around his neighborhood in Multan with a Butcher knife. The sight of Inzi running around with a butcher knife meant the kids around were terrified and ran helter-skelter, here-there everywhere. Some kids ran away so hard they bounced off walls and fell back on the ground, thus being exposed to the bare feet of Inzi’s ginormous toes.

The victim here, is a 9 year old goat by the name of Qutubuddin. Qutubuddin is the same goat, who participated in Multan’s famous ‘Goat of the year’ pageant in 2014. After coming up short from winning the prestigious Goat of the year award, Qutubuddin was seen grazing around in the barren fields of Punjab. Unfortunately, for Qutub, Inzi had his eyes on its body. Inzamam ran with his butcher knife, quite like he ran between the wickets when he was run out 24,639 times in his career. Inzamam took a giant leap to get a hold of Qutubuddin. However, Inzamam missed, but not entirely. The knife was far enough in the batting crease and Inzi was able to get the Goat’s eggs for breakfast the next day. Qutubuddin the goat was castrated in bright sunlight and left for dead in Kasai Mohalla, as Inzi picked up the balls and left the pitch.

On lookers remained shocked at the incident and tried to help Qutubuddin to its knees. In spite of lost balls, the goat was able to make it back to its feat. Qutubuddin is now safe in the stomach of local authorities who have imposed a 24 hour ban on Inzamam from eating biryani. Inzi has to make-do with the eggs he snatched from the Goat.

The question beckons, is this the man we want to select our national team? The people of Pakistan are pissed and have to decide if Inzamam should still remain head selector. After all, Inzi castrated a Goat. Cameraman, Kamil Yusuf k saath, Chandnawab, Indus news, Karachi.

Azhar Ali’s Secret to smashing 302* vs West Indies

Pakistan is known to produce some of the world’s best seam bowlers, excellent singers, artists and fucktards like Asif Ali Zardari. However, a new jewel that promises to make the people of Pakistan proud, is Azhar Ali. Azhar Ali, elevated to captain Pakistan quite early in his career, is a solid all-round batsman in Tests as well as ODI cricket. Misbah Ul-Haq the horny genious being the current skipper of Pakistan has always trusted Azhar in holding the reigns of the Pakistan Cricket Team in the future and Azhar has only made this acknowledgement and assertion.

Pakistan are currently in a strong position against a terribly weak West Indies’ team. Missing most of their prominent and talented pool of cricketers, West Indies cricket is struggling because of regional politics. To make matters worse, Azhar Ali demolished this mosquito-like bowling attack with excellent footwork, style and finesse. With his batting temperament reminiscent of past greats like Inzamam Ul-Haq a.k.a Potato.

AZHAR ALI
AZHAR ALI

Azhar Ali smashed an astonishing 302* not out in the first innings for Pakistan. He celebrated with a salute, an ode to the Pakistan Army, which is essentially the only political stronghold of the entire country. When asked about his secret to scoring with such will and freedom, Azhar spilled the beans as follows:

~

“Bismillah-e-rehman ae Rahim. First of all I wanted to thanks the Allah for give me strength. Mashallah the pitch is good and the bwoys played well cricket. I batting with chapli kebab in pocket and hungry eating one in drink breaks. Inshallah moment continue and we win with Gods grace bismillah-e-rehman e rahim. Alllah talaah ka shukar hai I want to thanks Allah and bwoyz played well.”

We couldn’t pickup much from the interview Azhar Ali gave us but it translated to him munching on Mutton Chops during drinks break to keep the momentum going in reading the holy Quran.

Pakistan 579/3d
West Indies 69/1 (22.0 ov)
West Indies trail by 510 runs with 9 wickets remaining in the 1st innings

Cameraman Kamil Yusuf k saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.

Misbah gets horny

Misbah ul Haq the Pakistan test captain recently led his team to the Number 1 ranking in Test Cricket.
However, the long hours spent in the field were taking a toll on his few seconds in bed. This meant, the hardwork had to cum off somewhere and it came at the wrong time.
As Misbah posed with his beloved test mace and wife, he couldn’t control his libido and tried doing the unthinkable, while Kamil Yusuf the infamous legendary journalist was taking pictures.

14481834_1746483215601875_6362805267692412902_o

Misbah’s wife was embarrassed. Miss Bah..aah ahhh. ahh.