On October 20, 2016, India lost to New Zealand by 6 runs.
On October 19, 1995, Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge released.
On October 19, 2016, Shahrukh Khan celebrated DDLJ’s 21st anniversary.
On October 20, 2016, DDLJ played on all channels of Indian Televeision.
MS Dhoni and Kedar Jadhav were almost on the route to taking India to victory, but why did he have to come to that? India got New Zealand all out for meager totla of 242 and had to chase down 243 to win. This wasn’t a mammoth task for a team that prides in its batting prowess. However, the timing of the game was all wrong, according to Dhoni. India kept losing wickets during the run-chase.
Dhoni points out, that the Indian batsmen returned back to the pavilion one by one in quick succession because of Shahrukh Khan. Apparently, the TV in the dressing room was playing Dilwale Dulhaniye Le Jaayenge. The entire Indian team is a fan of Shahrukh Khan and DDLJ. Which is the reason, why they all rushed back to the dressing room. No batsman wanted to miss Amrish Puri’s brutal eyes, Kajol over-acting and screeching babuji babuji and Srk stuttering like Qutubuddin, the local goat of Multan who was castrated by Inzamam.
The Indian Captain, MS Dhoni expressed his displeasure at Shahrukh Khan and asked SRK to stay away from the remaining ODI matches. He also has requested certain TV channels to air Shahrukh’s movies at different times than when India goes out on the circular field.
Shahrukh Khan remained unavailable for comment.
Cameraman Kamil Yusuf K Saath, Indus News, Karachi.
The goats want justice for their fallen brother Qutubuddin, who may not be a brother anymore, coz you know, he got castrated. Qutubuddin the goat is being missed by his cousins, family and friends. The entire Mutton community has come together to mourn the loss of their dear friend, local goat Qutubuddin. Inzamam, oblivious to the fact that somewhere Qutubuddin’s scrotum is being digested by his bodily enzymes is selecting the team for Pakistan’s next cricket match against the West Indies. The Goats of Pakistan are participating in rallies and Peace protests all around Pakistan to bring justice to Qutubuddin and punish Inzamam Ul-Haq the nutcracker.
“His catastrophic castration is a sign of worry in the goat community. We want to serve humanity by featuring in their kebabs and Biryanis, but we do it on our own terms. Nobody, should be able to castrate one of our brothers out in the open”, says Maqbool Ahmed a distant cousin of local goat Qutubuddin. Maqbool and his family have declined their consent for being butchered to make Biryani.
As a result, Biryani-wallahs all around Pakistan have been deeply affected, both financially and emotionally. Many Biryani makers have offered support to the goats to carry out nation-wide protests and rally against Inzamam Ul-Haq. Some Biryani wala’s have insisted Inzamam be sent to Jail. “He owes a lot of money to us. He hasn’t paid for the last 51 orders of Biryani that he ordered from us. I am all for the goats and their protest.” says Ahmed bhai Biryani wala.
On the other hand, there are Butchers and Kasai from Qasai mohalla in Rawalpindi who are also against Inzamam in this situation. “Agar Inzi bhai khud gote kaatne lagenge to hum kya karengay? Humara to dhanda down ho gaya hai. Inshallah Inzi bhai ko saza honi hi chahiye” says Haneef Mohammad, ex-cricketer and now a chai-wala + Butcher at Qasai Mohalla.
Imran Khan, Rashid Latif, Ramiz Raja and several others have offered condolences on the death of Qutubuddin, the local goat. While Amir Sohail, Wasim Akram and Shahid Afridi have lent their support for Inzamam. “Anyone who wants to eat a goat’s testicles should be allowed to do so, why do we care about a local goat from Multan. These goats should be slaughtered. I think the goats have been payed by Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi to disrupt Pakistan’s peace.” said Aamer Sohail, supporting his fat friend Inzamam Ul-Haq.
Where do you stand? Do you support the goats’ protest against Inzamam? Comment with a Baaaaaa to show your support. Or comment with a ‘Burp’ to show support for Inzi bhai.
Cameraman Kamil Yusuf k saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.
Virat Kohli has been in terrific form of late. And by of-late I mean, since he was born. Some low-life wanna be writer has written a book on Anushka Sharma’s boyfriend and it has been released today. The book is titled “DRIVEN” and is an Auto-Biography. So by all means, we can bet that this book is about cars, bikes and driving.
As an AUTO-biography we asked Virat why there was no mention of Autorikshaws in the book. To which he gave our boy in-house Rowdy Cricket journalist Maganlal Chikkiwala a death-stare. As the title speaks for itself, the content of the book is very “Driven”. Expect lots of information and knowledge about Cars, Tires, Bikes, Motorcycles SUV’s, sports-cars and much more.
We wonder why Virat invited former cricketers to launch his book, and what connection Virat has with being on the book cover. If the book is about Driving, what does Virat have to do on the front cover of it? Sehwag, Kapil Dev, Kavi Shastri, Anil Kumble and many more were present for the launch of this book.
We’re still unsure what the book has to do with Cricket, but oh well, they can do whatever they want to do man. Lets hope I get some important information from the book about buying my next car.
Cameraman KAmil Yusuf ksaath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.
RowdyCricket would like to wish Virender Sehwag a very happy birthday. By now, #HappyBirthdayViru is already trending on twitter. The former Indian opening batsman was a destructive force in the batting line-up and bowlers still have nightmares with memories of Viru smashing them all around the ground. Sehwag known for his quick wits and chilled out nature is now smashing it on Twitter.
Sehwag has been showered by Birthday wishes by former and current teammates, as well as fans on twitter today, but the most important one comes from none other than the legend, Tendlya.
As you can see, Sachin called Sehwag “Lala” which is a derogatory term fans use for Shahid Afridi. We don’t care, Sachin is God, and The Lord can say whatever the fuck he wants. There might also be hints of Sehwag having diabetes, since Tendlya called him “sweetest man”.
Usually, its Viru dishing out the funny insulting birthday wishes to other players and former cricketers. But today is his day. So far, this tweet is the most damaging one. We’ll have to wait and watch what Shoaibh Akhtar has to say to Viru, since Viru had made his birthday special with a funny hashtag.
Sir Ravindra Jadeja, the perennial useless boy of Indian Cricket is known to be quite active on twitter. Today, on Karwa Chauth evening, he expressed his views on twitter. Aparently, Jadeja’s wife wasn’t ready to do Karwa Chauth for him. She does not want him to be her husband in 7 janams. Hell, she doesn’t even want him for 7 years in this life. Anyway, Ravindra Jadeja took his frustrations out on twitter and went on quite a rant.
See for yourself, the tweets Jadeja has been posting point to the fact that he has no idea what the fuck is going on in this world anymore. He’s been irrational and ridiculously childish. His immaturity has hit a new low, as his twitter rants show signs of eccentricity and schizophrenia. We hope he recovers from the mental illness soon.
We tried to reach out to Ravindra Jadeja’s daddy, Ajay Jadeja who again declined to comment on the matter. Ajay Jadeja insisted that he is not the father of Ravindra Jadeja. He flipped his shit when we asked him if he had disowned poor old Ravindra because of his mental illness of being a certified chutiya. Only a father knows the emotional value of his son in such difficult times. We wish Ravindra Jadeja’s wife all the best. If she’s feeling lonely, she can reach out to Rowdy Cricket for company, any time, day or night, preferably, night.
Cameraman Kamil Yusuf K saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.
Raina has been in the ODI squad against New Zealand but has spent most of his time in the dressing room. To stay out of the playing field and scorching October heat, Raina did what he could to raise his body temperature. Holding an onion up his armpits was the best decision to get support staff thinking he has fever. However, now it seems Raina’s fake fever has turned into real fever.
The news out of the Indian camp is that Raina has been hit with a case of the Viral Fever. He is ruled out of the ODI and will spend more time in the dressing room with The Viral Fever Youtube Channel guys to shoot a short skit. Raina’s twitter account is proof, that he is a fan of singing and comedy. Remember, when he faked his nephew tweeting to the Pakistan team to GTFO out of India?
Anyway, now that Raina is venturing into the YouTube comedy world by associating with The Viral Fever (TVF), it seems we could see him on our phones and computers more than the TV. We at Rowdy Cricket wish him all the best in his new direction in life of being a YouTube comedian.
Andrew Symonds the perennial monkey of International Cricket is back at it again. After his infamous sexy shorts incident, Symonds finds himself in another soup. Now retired, former Australian Captain Michael Clarke has recently released his autobiography, spilling lots of secrets and one glass of beer.
Clarke’s book has quite a few startling revelations about his relationships with the players and officials he interacted with, during his illustrious career. One such incident includes Andrew Symonds and his many stints with Alcohol. Symonds was always known as an alcoholic and his attitude in the Australian dressing room was motivated by the high induced by his consumption of alcoholic beverages. He was also handed a one match ban when he turned up drunk to a match against Bangladesh in 2005.
Clarke points out this one incident when Symonds and Clarke were good buddies. Symmo got too wasted and drunk out of his minds. In presence of Brian Lata, he emptied an entire glass of beer on Clarke’s head, as a joke. Clarke never spoke to Symonds after that incident. Here’s an excerpt from the book.
Symonds has been quoted saying the following in Gujarati “Daru Peevanu and Fishing karvanu, Majja ni Life”
Cameraman Kamil Yusuf K Saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.
October 17, 2016 marks Anil Kumble’s 46th birthday. Anil Kumble, the current head coach of India has had an illustrious career as a spin bowler. Kumble is a humble man, and loved by all cricketers he played with, except my grandfather, who never played with him, but hated him. While the world lovingly calls Kumble, Jumbo, my grandpa referred to Anil as The Hunchback of Notre dame.
The players and support staff of the Indian Cricket Team celebrated Jumbo’s birthday by ordering a Jumbo birthday cake for him. Our main man, Rowdy Cricket journalist Maganlal Chikkiwala has exclusive information, that the cake for Jumbo weighed 18pounds. Nobody knew where the cake came from but they found it at the hotel room that Kumble was staying in. Kumble, like a hungry jackal pounced on the cake and gobbled it up in a matter of seconds. His friends and family couldn’t even smear enough cake on Kumble, thus rendering Kumble’s birthday party a huge flop. Smearing of the cake is now a ritual and if not performed, the birthday party is considered a flop. To make sure your birthday party is a hit, smear the cake on your face.
Kumble has had memorable birthday parties before, like in this picture.
Where former Indian players didn’t allow him to eat the cake.
Now that the cake has been devoured by Anil, he has had quite a rough birthday. Since, the cake touched his stomach, Kumble has been feeling uneasy and has spend most of his time in the bathroom sending poop selfies to his close friends. Apparently, the cake was infused with Jamaal Gota, the famous Indian Laxative. Doctors have been informed but weren’t able to look after Kumble because of him being locked in the toilet all day. But our best guess is, Kumble has had a hit of the Dysentery or as they’re known in my household – Loose Motions.
Cameraman Kamil Yusuf K Saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.
India’s favorite and much hyped reality TV Show Bigg Boss kicked off its 10th season on Sunday, October 16. This year, the show’s format has changed from an all-celebrity contest to a mixed bag of contestants including the common people. One of the contestants selected to go on the show is Aakanksha Sharma.
Now, this name maybe unheard of to the masses, but you may have heard of famous Indian Cricketer Yuvraj Singh. What is the connection, between Aakanksha Sharma and Yuvraj Singh? If you watch the first episode of Bigg Boss 10, when Aakanksha Sharma was called on stage alongside Salman Khan for her introduction, she also namedropped Yuvraj Singh. Rowdy Cricket has got the exclusive scoop on this showbiz-cricketing connection, which has also raised Bhai Salman Khan’s eyebrows.
Yuvraj Singh, has a younger brother Zorawar Singh. Zorawar got married to Aakanksha Sharma in 2014. The couple remained together for 4months. Legally, they’re still married but Aakanksha wanted out of the marriage and has applied for divorce. The Divorce process is still ongoing while, Aakanksha is in the Bigg Boss house. Zorawar, it seems is quite a useless boy and Aakanksha had problems with her mother-in-law, Yuvraj’s Mother, Shabnam Singh.
In her own words, Aakanksha called Shabnam Singh ‘Evil’. It’ll be interesting to see what more we can learn about this superstar cricketer’s household from this loudmouth wanna-be Akanksha Singh, using the woman empowerment excuse to gain a fan-following and votes in the Bigg Boss house.
Cameraman Kamil Yusuf K saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.
In the ongoing ODI match between India and New Zealand. Rohit Sharma and Ajinkya Rahane started well in India’s second innings chase for NZ’s 191. New Zealand had lost early wickets but a brisk partnership between Tim Southee and Tom Latham meant NZ had a respectable total to defend against a strong batting line up.
Both Rohit and Rahane started well and India had a healthy partnership going. Then, Rohit Sharma got out for 14 from 26 after hitting a 4 and a 6. Ajinkya Rahane also got out quickly after. Rahane scored 33 off 34 and was looking good with 2 sixes and 4 fours.
Now, with inside information, we know for sure, that the HPCA Stadium in Dharamsala has only 1 bathroom per dressing room. Being a relatively new ground the dressing room infrastructure is still not upto the international standard. Since, both Rohit and Rahane got out so quickly, they had to share the shower time. Rohit was already in the shower with soap on his face when Rahane creeped in with a smirk on his tiny skinny face.
Both the boys are from Mumbai, and it certainly may not be the first time that they must have shared a bathroom. But showering together with the same soap while being married isn’t what the fans would’ve expected of the openers. We wish their wives all the best.
Cameraman, Kamil Yusuf k saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.
After what seemed like hours of search operations to try and find the missing cricketer Rohit Sharma in Dharamsala, we can now breathe a sigh of relief. Rohit Sharma was deemed MISSING yesterday and there were doubts over his inclusion in the first ODI against New Zealand being played LIVE right now.
To the respite of viewers and followers of Rowdy Cricket, we would like to let everyone know that Rohit Sharma has been found. Apparently, Rohit had wandered off in a public restroom and was locked by local goons. He couldn’t call anyone with his new Panasonic Camera phone since he forgot to insert a sim card. However, after loud roars and knocks on the door a local civilian of Dharamsala, Himachal Pradesh opened the door to find Rohit sobbing and stuck in the bathroom.
However, Rohit is now found and safe. He is on the field has also taken a catch for the first wicket. It’ll be safe to say, Rohit won’t be wandering off into the abyss anytime soon. Let’s hope he cracks another double century today for India.
Ajinkya Rahane, fresh off his recent century in the test series against New Zealand is on a high. This high has been induced by his doctor’s recommendation to consume loads of Dabur Shakti Prash before going in to bat. Rahane who is physically skinny and appears smaller than rest of the athletes on the cricket field has his limitations. His smaller frame has often been compared to that of Vijay Raaz.
To counter this problem, Rahane has tried various powders, protein shakes, Dominos cheese-burst pizza and McDonald’s Maharaja Mac burger. However, nothing seemed to help him gain the mass or muscle. As an agile cricketer, he is quite active in the field. This agility impacted his stamina off the field. He could hit a sexy cover drive, but couldn’t maintain his sex-drive.
The controversial nature of Indian Cricket, had him twisting and tingling in bed without sleep or action. The turbanator Harbhya Singh took Rahane to a local doctor in Chhattisgarh who advised Rahane to consume loads of Dabur Shakti Prash.
This would enhance his strenghts on the field as well as keep him hot and handy at night. We have yet to see the effects of the medication on Rahane’s performance in One Day International Day/Night games. But since the ODI series is soon to kick off against New Zealand, our curiosity shall be dealt with, sooner rather than later.
Indian batsman Rohit Sharma is missing from the team hotel in Dharamsala, HCPA Stadium, where team India is scheduled to play their first ODI against New Zealand, tomorrow. OCTOBER 16, 2016.
The news of Rohit missing came out soon after he didn’t show up at team practice in the morning. His Mumbai team mate Ajinkya Rahane came out shouting “Rohit Palala … Rohit Palalala”. Anil Kumble, the Indian Coach enquired what he meant by ‘palala’ and Rahane replied “Rohit Bhaag gaya, Rohit Bhaag gaya”.
This news was confirmed by Ajay Jadeja’s son, Ravindra Jadeja who tweeted the following picture. Ajay Jadeja has once again denied any connection to Ravindra Jadeja however, he expressed his state of shock, after learning that Rohit is lost.
Ritika Sajdeh, Rohit’s wife told local authorities that Rohit went to shoot some pictures with his new vintage Panasonic phone. He is scared of heights and going into the wild mountains of the Himalayas, was quite an adventurous task for Rohit to take up. It seems more likely, that Rohit Sharma is wandering around in the bushes somewhere in Dharamsala. Or could have had some wild weed and must be stoned in a corner.
We’ll have to wait and watch if Rohit opens the batting in the game against New Zealand tomorrow.
Cameraman Kamil Yusuf ke saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, KArachi.
Retired Pakistani Cricketer, Inzamam Ul-Haq or as he is known in India, ‘Potato’ a.k.a Aaloo, is in the news lately. Inzamam, who is currently the head selector for the Pakistani National Cricket Team is a lover of food. He is a Mutton Biryani aficionado. Inzamam can call out if a certain Mutton Biryani is cooked to perfection or not. He can tell if a biryani is missing a peculiar spice, be it saffron, cloves, cinnamon or elaichi.
However, this story has nothing to do with these pesky spices. Inzamam has been handed a ban from eating biryani for the next 24 hours by local authorities in his neighboring mohalla. Sources have claimed that Inzamam was roaming around his neighborhood in Multan with a Butcher knife. The sight of Inzi running around with a butcher knife meant the kids around were terrified and ran helter-skelter, here-there everywhere. Some kids ran away so hard they bounced off walls and fell back on the ground, thus being exposed to the bare feet of Inzi’s ginormous toes.
The victim here, is a 9 year old goat by the name of Qutubuddin. Qutubuddin is the same goat, who participated in Multan’s famous ‘Goat of the year’ pageant in 2014. After coming up short from winning the prestigious Goat of the year award, Qutubuddin was seen grazing around in the barren fields of Punjab. Unfortunately, for Qutub, Inzi had his eyes on its body. Inzamam ran with his butcher knife, quite like he ran between the wickets when he was run out 24,639 times in his career. Inzamam took a giant leap to get a hold of Qutubuddin. However, Inzamam missed, but not entirely. The knife was far enough in the batting crease and Inzi was able to get the Goat’s eggs for breakfast the next day. Qutubuddin the goat was castrated in bright sunlight and left for dead in Kasai Mohalla, as Inzi picked up the balls and left the pitch.
On lookers remained shocked at the incident and tried to help Qutubuddin to its knees. In spite of lost balls, the goat was able to make it back to its feat. Qutubuddin is now safe in the stomach of local authorities who have imposed a 24 hour ban on Inzamam from eating biryani. Inzi has to make-do with the eggs he snatched from the Goat.
The question beckons, is this the man we want to select our national team? The people of Pakistan are pissed and have to decide if Inzamam should still remain head selector. After all, Inzi castrated a Goat. Cameraman, Kamil Yusuf k saath, Chandnawab, Indus news, Karachi.
Cricket is a funny game. As long as the game can remember, there have been certain characters who either turn the tide or swim against it. Chris Gayle, Yuvraj Singh, Kevin Pietersen, Shahid Afridi just to name a few.
Australia has its share of mischievous cricketers. The likes of Andrew Symonds have always been surrounded by controversy, be it on the cricket field or in a bar. Symonds finds himself tackling bouncers and shoving them out for sixes. Andrew Symonds or as he’s fondly known in India “Teri ma ki” has landed himself in hot water again, literally.
Andrew Symonds who recently went fishing in some shitty Mithi River of Australia was fined by the Police Department for wearing extremely short shorts. Symonds who wanted to catch some chilean seabass or maybe some shrimp while on a fishing trip was surrounded by cops, instead of fish. His short-shorts were deemed Obscene and caused neighboring widows some heart-ache. The discomfort caused to the widows in the neighborhood led the cops to Symmo who was then fined.
As he was signing his fine ticket, Andrew Symonds was so angry, that he started jumping, splashing and scratching his armpits. Almost, like that of um…err….a …. MONKEY.
Cameraman KAmil Yusuf k saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.
Rowdy Cricket has access to exclusive footage from the film “MS DHONI – THE UNTOLD STORY” starring Sushant Singh Rajput.
The following scenes were deleted from the movie because of their controversial nature and DHONI did not permit the makers of the film to release it. Hence, the scenes were edited out.
However, our main man Rowdy Cricket Senior Journalist Maganlal Chikkiwala has gained exclusive access by breaking into Sushant Singh Rajput’s house and stealing these clips. He then uploaded the footage to different Youtube channels under various aliases.
For more UNSEEN FOOTAGE, Like, Comment, Subscribe and Share ROWDY CRICKET.
India’s test captain and cricket’s current poster boy Virat Kohli is in the news for the right reasons. After the recent test series whitewash vs New Zealand, India topped the ICC test rankings. The 3-0 whitewash meant India toppled Arch-Rivals Pakistan from the top spot. To celebrate this achievement, India’s Test Captain thought of a noble cause and decided to donate to charity, in an effort to give back to the society.
Virat decided to put up some of his used Underwear for Auction. The money generated by auctioning off the underwear will be donated to a charity, Being Chaman. As fans lined up to get their hands on the old smelly used Underwear which was once around Kohli’s jewels, our main man journalist Maganlal Chikkiwala got VIP access to touch and feel one of Virat’s used Underwear. Maganlal Chikkiwala described the underwear bright and silky with Kohli’s favorite, choicest words engraved on it. Here’s a RowdyCric exclusive picture.
Sources claim the used underwear sold for very high amount. The buzz was that some of the underwear went for as much as ₹35/peace. Clearly, the charity Being Chaman were pleased with the sales and were thinking of ways of expanding this chaddi business with their new chaddi buddy Mr. Virat Parshuram Kohli.
Cameraman Kamil Yusuf k saath, Chandnawab, Indus News, Karachi.