Suresh Raina, the flamboyant left handed batsman has been out of the Indian cricket team for a while now. He was selected in the Indian squad against New Zealand and was supposed to be drafted in the playing 11 on October 16, the first ODI – India vs New Zealand. However, that may not happen as Suresh Raina has come under a heavy attack of the Viral Fevers, bro.
Raina, known to be one of the lazier cricketers in the Indian contingent has been putting on kilos which the other team members seem to lose. Kohli has lost 12kgs since 2013, while Jadeja, Shami, Dhoni and Rohit Sharma have each lost a few kilos to maintain their fitness. Raina has been munching on them batata vadas and chhole bhature while the rest of the squad feasts on ghaas-phoos.
Suresh has now reached a new level of laziness. He got a call from the returning captain for the ODI’s humaar Mahiya MS Dhoni about his inclusion in the playing XI. However, Raina wanted to chill in the air-conditioned dressing room while the rest of the team burns their asses in the October heat. As a quick-smart solution, Raina help up a large fresh onion costing Rs. 96 under his armpit. He held the onion long enough for his body temperature to rise enough for the support staff to think he had a fever.
Suresh Raina, thus, will not feature in the playing XI on October 16, Sunday’s first ODI vs New Zealand. No wonder, nobody’s talking about the rates of Onions now-a-days. People are shoving Onions up their arm-pits.